Not so higher education
by Clairei
Summary: [ AU, High School fic. ] In this tale, Raphael breaks the fourth wall to tell of the shenanigans that go on in his high school.


**Disclaimer:** Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. This is simply a fic written by a bored college student. Don't sue, please?

**Author's Notes:** So, I decided to write a High School AU(c) for TMNT. You must be asking, "Wtf, why?" Well, the idea of four mutant turtles going to high school makes me giggle. Now, this is not meant to be taken seriously. It's a twisted, humorous story that's meant to spoof various things like 80's movies, _Saved by the Bell_, and the old TMNT cartoon.

Many of you might not be familiar with the 1987 TMNT series, which is understandable since it's old and not 'hip' anymore. However, in an attempt to help those who do not know the '87 cartoon as well, I posted some profiles of each of the characters. Though, I added some 'extra facts' of my own invention to add to the humor factor.

Well, enjoy the fic, it's quite a doozy.

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Get acquainted with the characters!

**Leonardo -** The jock. As the oldest brother, Leo tends to look after his brothers, but also gets distracted by his various extracurricular activities which include kendo (Kendo in an American high school? Why, yes!), running, gymnastics, karate, and football.

**Raphael -** The rebel. A sarcastic pessimist who spends most of the time breaking the fourth wall. When he's not busy playing nasty pranks on his brothers, he likes to sneak out of school to have misadventures in the city.

**Donatello -** The nerd. Voted "most likely to invent a nuclear weapon so powerful that it will destroy the Solar System", Don can be found inside the school laboratory, concocting mysterious substances.

**Michaelangelo -** The "party dude". He is probably the most 'normal' of his brothers. Comic books, video games, going to parties, experimenting with illegal drugs ... Yes, Mikey is like the typical teenager.

**Shredder -** The megalomaniacal villian. An ambitious dictator in the making, Oroku Saki likes to spend his time planning the demise of the four turtle brothers. Why? Because he just doesn't like them. Wishes to become captain of the football team and targets Leo in particular a lot of the time.

**Krang -** The brain that floats in a jar. After being found by Shredder, he decides to stick by him, planning different ways to knock off the turtles. He dislikes people and animals, thus he targets the turtles, who happen to be both.

**Bebop -** Henchman #1. A warthog mutant with a mohawk and acts the Shredder's good lil servant. He secretly wishes to join the poetry alliance, but is too ashamed that it will ruin his tough guy reputation.

**Rocksteady -** Henchman #2. A rhinoceros mutant, who is not the brightest crayon in the box. He is constantly getting his machine gun confiscated by the authorities.

**April O'Neil -** The ace high school newspaper reporter. This redheaded bombshell spends her school day trying to dig up whatever good stories she can get. A microphone (that is not attached to anything) is always in her hand. She is a close friend of the turtles, though she spends a lot more time around Irma. Many call her a 'workaholic in training'.

**Irma -** The boy crazy teenage girl. Her nose is perpetually stuck inside teen magazines and likes cutting out pictures of all the cute male celebrities to stick on her locker. Most of her time is spent trying to find 'Mr. Right'. Donatello is the apple of her eye, though her affections are rarely reciprocated. April is her best friend.

**Vernon Fenwick -** The sneaky suck-up. His dream is to become the most recognized journalist in the school, however, he ended up working as the photocopy boy. Now he tends to try to sabotage April's stories, plagiarizes them and spreads rumors about the turtles.

**Mr. Thompson -** The Principal. What can be said about the high school principal? He is strict and focuses too much on getting test scores to rise. He pressures poor April to promote good study values to the school. Raphael ends up going to his office most and having casual conversations while getting punished.

**Yoshi Hamato (aka Master Splinter) -** The adoptive father of the turtle brothers. He is devoted to practicing martial arts, which he tries to pass on to his children. However, Leonardo seems to be the only one to take it extremely seriously. People always inquire on how a rat like him can have turtles for sons.

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**Prologue **

If silence could kill, they would all be dead and rotting six feet under. Of course, awkward silence was expected when a mix of students, parents and the principal were in the same room together. The office was quite bare; the puke green wallpaper was the only thing to really garner attention. The four Hamato brothers sat in the burgundy clad chairs, each staring in the direction of Mr. Thompson and their father. Neither were speaking, instead they glared at them. It was the sort of look that simply said 'You all are in deep crap.'

"Dude," Michaelangelo turned to Donatello. "Is it really possible to be grounded for life?"

Donatello placed his hand on his forehead, rubbing his aching head against it. "Anything is possible, Mikey."

"I was afraid of that."

"I believe that you boys know the reason that I've set up this meeting." The principal stated, his voice trying to be level. In an attempt to seem just a little more professional, he straightened his pink polka dot print tie.

Leonardo stood up, acting like a good little lap dog would. "We can explain, Sir! There were some circumstances that were beyond our control!"

"I, for one, would like to hear about them." Mr. Hamato said, turning around to face his oldest son.

Nervously, Leo gulped. "Well, you see..."

"It all started a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." Raphael interrupted his explanation.

When the eldest turtle shot a glare at Raph, he shouted, "All right, hold it!" Everything around him seemed to freeze in time. The red clad turtle got up from his seat and looked in the direction of the 'reader'. "You must be wondering about what the heck is going on. I guess I'd be wondering the same thing if I were in your shoes. I can guarantee you that there is a good reason why we are about to get the punishment of the century. It all started a week ago in our Home Ec class. So, I'll step aside so that the flashback can begin."

With that said, the story was set up to unfold.

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End file.
